Review for The Playboy Life - Suite ##589 Anyone? [R]

The Playboy Life - Suite #589 Anyone? [R]

by The Samurai's Choco Pie

Reviewer: xiaoxi
@ http://jjforeverdbsk.webs.com [Dark side]

Title: 8/10
Cliché title, but it suits the story just fine - it’s a playboy’s life, as told by the title.

Foreword: 7/10
I think the forewords is just fine, except for the way you introduced NewS. Even in a book, you won’t find introductions such as this:

Tegoshi Yuuya
Age 22
The Ero Prince
He’ll have his hands all over you on the dance floor – you’ll be moaning by the end of the song.

The author would slowly reveal the personality of the character instead of just feeding it to the audience like you did.

Appearance: 5/10
There was no poster or background, and I respect that not all authors would find it necessary to have a poster and background. However, take into consideration for the fact that first impression means a lot. If there was an attractive poster, it would capture readers. However, points were given because the black font colour is easy on the eyes when contrasted against a white background.

Plot: 10/15
I personally feel it’s just the same story happening to six couples who all share the same reactions and feelings towards the engagement. Perhaps it would be better if there was some slight difference in the way they met or got engaged. It just seem like rereading the story six times with the names of the characters changed.

Flow: 8/10
The pace was a little quick for me. It was suddenly like as if New Year is a day right after Christmas.

Originality: 8.5/10
The plot isn’t original. However, I gave a little credit for the addition of Yori who makes things much more interesting.

Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 9/10
I managed to catch only a few mistakes here and there as I was reading, but it did not really inconvenience me in my reading experience and therefore I did not bother too much about it. However, good presentation is essential and you should always proofread before you post. This minimizes the chances of you creating a mistake in spelling/grammar/punctuation/vocabulary and makes reading more pleasant and enjoyable.

Characterization: 6/10
The only character whom I got to understand was Yori (what a surprise) and I won’t really count her as someone who has a main role in the story. The only thing I understood of NewS was that they are complete playboys, and that’s the end of story. You need to blow more life into the characters so that they seem more ‘alive’.

Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is easy to comprehend, but there are occasional mistakes in sentence structure and spelling/grammar/punctuation/vocabulary.

Overall Enjoyment: 4/5

Bonus: 2/5
I like authors who interact with readers and stories that can make me laugh :)

Total: 76.5/105

Reviewer’s note:
Thanks for being so patient, I know I took a little too long with this review (I completed the review but forgot to send it out T.T).
I think this is one of the best fic I’ve reviewed thus far (not that I’ve really reviewed that many…) but I think you need to put in a bit more effort in creating six entirely - okay, maybe varying slightly - fic. I was getting a little bored reading six couples experience the same things in a chapter. The parents pair them up, and they all have dinner on Christmas day. Same reactions too, may I add. I admit I’m a picky reader, but I rate based on what I feel would be best for creating an ideal fic and pleasant reading experience.
And lastly… I thought your name was the title of the fic when I first saw it (I wasn’t reading the request properly I think). And I was like ‘samurai and choco pie? This story might be interesting’. LOL! Once again, thanks for being so patient!
Xiaoxi, loves.